One thing I do miss...

Poppy fields in Poland. One of my favorite things in the world was to go on walks and find these fields and just lay in them for hours. I don't know, it was...freeing. The smell, the sounds. I miss home :(

I have this weird fascination with fields, almost like it's my safe place. Long time ago, an ex-boyfriend and I would always play these weird mind games, try and get into each others heads. He had a suspension chamber (straps though, not hooks) that I would go into to try and relax. Every time I ended up in a field inside my head. I think the wide nature of a field is what draws me in. Even though it is uncovered, you're safe within its grass and flowers, you can get lost in it. Maybe that's why my joy rides wind me up north rather than south, I'm looking for that safe haven.

Thinking about those mind games, crazy thing is, we got it work one time. Freaked me the hell out! It was one of those where it started with I'm thinking of a cube and it's this color, and he would finish it. He got in so deep so the actually saw the image of me in a field without me saying anything, figured out it was a poppy field and everything. That was the only time I really didn't feel safe. Come to think of it, fuck mind games!

*shutters* The dumb ass things I've gotten myself into. Well, you live and you learn.

Goodbye February.

March is almost here! Which is in a sense a good and bad thing.

Good: Quarter from hell almost over, St. Patrick's Day, Spring, Spring Break!
Bad: Quarter almost over I have so much work to do!!, Preview [AH!]

Don't mind me writing this list, it's just everything I need to finish:
Koi tattoo
photoshoot
website
[possible brochure]
Billboard->put into live surface
Print t-shirts
Print 1 page of temp tattoos
Preview book [photographs]
Eye Anomalies [watercolor, ink drawing, transfer]
Image Archive
Flash e-card
Flash Instructional
Finish After Effects movie [Serious UGH]

I have three weeks.
Throw 3 jobs, promoting, and a car build on top of that.
Can you tell I don't sleep much?

Once this quarter is over though...I am partying during Spring Break!
Well...kind of, I have so much other stuff I need to get done then that I've been putting off, but at least I'll probably be going skydiving! Another thing to cross off!
And I'm going to try and spend that week with my car and riding the SV650 since it'll finally be warm.

I'm hoping with some daily work planning things will go smoothly. I've decided to go about this damn movie in a different direction: 10 seconds a day (which should take less than an hour) instead of cramming doing 40 seconds into a day and reverting to drinking! Should work...right?

Aside from work and school, all I can say is...I'm happy :D
It feels good.

Be one of the cool kids.

I wish I had these as a kid! Beats any Lisa Frank or Five Star Folder any day! This is student work submitted by Marisa Torres from Mexico City.

"Ecologiks is a line of eco-friendly school supplies. Made with recycled and post-consumer materials, Ecologiks presents an alternative to unsustainable, generic or brand name, or otherwise dull school supplies.

The brand is inspired and manufactured for children. The package offers a full range of products—mainly school supplies. We intend to offer variety packages that include notebooks, pencil cases, calendars, and other stationery."

Supafresh!

So I created this whole blog and now I'm not even blogging. Go me. I need to get back into the rhythm of this whole thing.

15 weeks of school until I graduate. Damn. Can't wait.
I can see people breaking all around me, the pressure is finally getting to them, but I can't really compare...I still gets my shit done and in the end that's what matters.

At this point you pretty much have to be willing to throw your heart and soul into everything you do. I've always noticed that other designers can tell when you bullshit.

Other notes:
Tortoise is alright. I just have to keep an eye on her. They wanted me to run all of these tests totaling up to $500 or just checking her out! Fuck dat. I'd rather just take care of her. So that's that.

I'm starting to see the end of school and the start of my career, and it's kind of thrilling. I like how I'm finally at the point where I can pretty much design whatever I want and use styles that I've always wanted to experiment with and have it look amazing.

Went to see Kyle Cooper with Tracy a couple weeks ago. I didn't realize the expanse of his work, his company even did the HP commercials with the song "Picture Book." Check out Prologue. If you don't know who Kyle Cooper is, he's most famous for doing opening credits for movies such as Se7en, Dawn of the Dead, the Spiderman series, etc. He also did the ending sequence to Tropic Thunder with Tom Cruise dancing...which is amazing by the way hahaha. Learning After Effects and seeing these people use it...I can't imagine it. I guess you need to drive and passion for it because After Effects just makes me want to drink until what I'm doing looks good lol.

I'm planning on going skydiving next month and hopefully a rally course in Florida this summer since it looks as though Poland isn't going to work out...expensive ass tickets.

I'm looking to get another tattoo next week.
I think I'm going to get my rook pierced today.

Life is starting to fall into place.

I'm doing my first photoshoot next weekend...OooOooo. I'm excite.
Should turn out pretty damn cool. I'm taking pictures of tattoos. Yum.

I'm starting to put together my portfolio for preview, I'll post some teasers here and there so you can see!

Song of the day-Heads Will Roll by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

...and Sanity by Alcarion

Who doesn't want this?

Helvetica cookie cutters! Beverly Hsu came up with a graphic designer/baker's dream! Once these are mass produced I'm getting on that bandwagon. I mean, seriously, what isn't better than eating the one thing that frustrates a designer?

Time for life lessons.
Had an interesting past weekend. Finally got my trunk finished even though I was in gut-wrenching pain. I just wanted it done to get rid of the jig saw.
Met up with the ex to give the saw back, I pretty much just wanted to drop it off in the mail box, but I knew he had unfinished business.

Here's the thing: don't fuck with me. Once you've hurt me over and over again I have nothing left to do with you, and yet you still try to argue.
The only nice thing that came out of the meeting is that I was reassured that I made the right decision.
I've heard it all before, "I'm sorry," "It won't happen again," "I'm different now," "I'm going through a lot of shit," it's nothing new to me. And frankly, it doesn't ever work. It always ends up being the same story and I hate being repetitive. Made that mistake too many times in the past and ended completely beat down.

I wasn't going to let it happen again.

Insomnia.

On a different, less disgusting note, I had insomnia last night. My brain (and stomach aches for that matter) decided that sleep was the last thing on my list. It's amazing the things you come up with at the most unexpected moments. Came up with another tattoo! I'm thinking I might get it this summer in Poland since it's more of a heritage piece.

Let me explain.

There is a form of traditional Polish art called Wycinanki. It's actually an amazing form of paper cutting. I remember walking through the main square in Krakow and watching artists on the street just doing silhouettes for people and they managed to get a perfect silhouette in under 5 minutes. Some of the designs are simplistic, but most are so intricate and complicated it's hard to believe it's just paper and scissors.

I'd probably find an original design off the street and go from there, I'm not even going to try to make my own, it'll be hopeless! I'm thinking either the top of my foot to ankle or back. Either way, it'll be the little piece of home that I'm looking for...

I also watched my all time favorite movie last night—High Fidelity.

It never gets old, and it's always hilarious.

Mainly because the music in it is fantastic.

I've never read the book...probably should...but I think it might kill the movie for me.

Mmmm. The Beta Band.

It's not the most insightful movie, but it does make you think. I look back on past relationships, past mistakes, life choices, and think what could have been.

I never regret anything I've done because it's made me what I am today. I made lots of mistakes. Holy shit a lot. But I don't regret a single one.

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music? "

You want insightful? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Donnie Darko. Vanilla Sky. Memento. Fight Club. I can't sleep for hours after watching these movies but I always want more. Some days I want to live in that fucked up sense of reality just to experience something different. I'd compare it to being bumped by a stranger and getting that chill down your whole body. You don't know why you like it, but it makes you feel good. After all, it was just a bump.

It just takes one touch, one whisper, one moan. I do everything I do to find that chill. Whether it be in design, my career, relationships, anything.

I will always strive to be better and I know I'm on the right track when the chill overwhelms me.

Dream jobs:

Magazine Layout Designer

Club Design and Promotions (working in all aspects)

Graphic Designer for something music related

If I was to move....

1. Chicago

2. San Francisco

3. Nashville

4. Milan, Italy

I love Italy. The food, the people, the culture. It's amazing. Now, please, true Italian women are nothing like what is portrayed on shows like Jersey Shore and all that. These are not New York Italians. True Italians are laid back, loving, caring people with a strong cultural heritage.

I love Tennessee too. The weather is perfect. You're still far enough south to have the warmth but far enough north to experience snow. Gatlinburg is amazing in the winter. Never been to Nashville, heard it's amazing. If Gibson called me today to be their designer I would leave in a moment.